The Simpsons in HD'oh

Released Sunday, February 15th, The Simpsons opened with a brand-new, high-definition series. The lines were sharp and the animation was more like the movie than the show to which I've grown accustomed. I can leave behind the day-glow colors of older seasons, and the blurry outlines of characters and backdrops, but I have to admit the new format detracts slightly from the show's edge. Perhaps this is why the show held only 6.82 million viewers, or the lackluster publicity for a new opening by Fox has something to do with it. It's a shame Bart and the Gang fell to Family Guy in the Fox lineup, but at least they beat out the rest of animation domination and NASCAR (whose reign as America's sport is hopefully drawing to a fiery close).

I've watched the opening and decided to catalog some of the changes and patented Simpsonian nods to seasons past. I thoroughly enjoyed the opening, so my work was slightly more pleasurable than past responsibilities. Yet, it was hard to bid adieu to Bleeding Gums playing outside of Moe's.OK, what's with the crows? The mythological harbinger flew directly across the title, emitting a squawk off-screen, later reappearing flying around the town, onto Lard Lad's giant donut, made famous in Attack of the 50ft. Eyesores from Tree House of Horror VI. Well, I suspect it's a Groening inspired tip of the hat to his origins in the Pacific Northwest, as crows and ravens play a central part to local lore and appear throughout the region en masse.

We see Kearney and Jimbo slicing off the head of Jebediah Springfield, a la The Tell-Tale Head from the eighth episode in season one, which then falls onto poor Ralph. We are reminded here of Springfield's motto: A Noble Spirit Embiggens the Smallest Man.

Look closely to the corner of the classroom after reading Bart's punitive, weekly phrase and you'll notice a photo of Homer in his space suit from Deep Space Homer - seemingly out of place, but a delectable split-second gem for upper level fans. Upon Bart's departure, Barney is discovered drunk under a pile of leaves, and we cut to the power plant.

No longer are Mr. Burns and his life-mate Smithers watching over Sector-7G and Homer's whistle-blown escape. Now, Lenny and Carl are updating an accident free banner, only to fall prey to the cliched gag of having an accident while adding on another day.

Off to the grocery store, with Patty and Selma buying a carriage full of Laramie 100's. Look very closely and you'll see Marge buying a box of Mr. Sparkle detergent, the coincidental icon from the Matsumura Fishworks and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern, a combination of a fish and a light bulb with a hilarious informational tape from In Marge We Trust from season eight. As Maggie is scanned through the register, as she always has been, she doubles Marge's shopping total to a whopping $486.52, the same total it has always been. I must admit, I once video taped an episode and watched the opening frame by frame to learn the total amount on the register. Maggie, once placed in the cart, shakes a tiny, adversarial fist at Gerald, the uni-browned baby.

Hanging on the wall of Mr. Largo's music room, a small black & white portrait of the late Bleeding Gums Murphy hangs as a solemn reminder of animated mortality before Lisa is ushered out of band practice. Sadly, Sherri and Terri were not removed from class for texting, but they should have been.

Cut to Homer's ride home with the same carbon-rod jabbing him in the back. Instead of falling down a drain, as in the old opener, Otto ingests the rod while sitting on a bench. As we cut through Main Street and follow Bart's skateboard ride, Sideshow Bob makes a cameo and tries again to kill Bart with a machete. I wonder if each opening will add to Bob's attempted Barticide total.

In the ever-present street crowd, we can see (in order): Helen Lovejoy laden with shopping bags, Apu + 8, Moe outside of his tavern, Comic Book Guy with his lunch from Krusty Burger, Disco Stu, Eleanor Abernathy (the Crazy Cat Lady), Colonel Antoine "Tex" O'Hara (the Oil Tycoon) firing rounds into the air, Chief Wiggum waving his night stick at Bart, and Hans Moleman popping out of the sewer before Marge runs him over. If you look in the background, Jebediah is still headless from the opening of the opening.

Little has changed in Marge's station waggon on the ride home, with the exception of Abe in the passenger seat, losing his teeth. On to the montage, a detailer's dream of Simpsons references.

Skinner, his mother, and Chalmers argue on the sidewalk before the school; Ralph plays sandbox over Frank Grimes' (Grimey) grave; Martin suffers the indignity of schoolyard bullying; Patty and Selma sunbathe in bikinis; SpiderPig/Harry Plopper entertains Cletus and Brandine Spuckler; Kang and Kodos fly aroud; Kent Brockman covers Captain Horatio McAllister's catch of the day, little Blinky the three-eyed fish; Sherri and Terri continue texting; Krusty smokes against a wall grafittied by El Barto; Snake steals a revolver from Lou's belt; a Mafia body dump overseen by Fat Tony; Ms. Hoover changes a flat tire on the bus; Sideshow Mel pushes Mr. Teeny in a Victorian stroller toward Jessica Lovejoy; God fights Satan; and Rod and Todd release doves into the air.

As the standard opening comes to a close, before the weekly refreshed couch gag, Marge hits Homer with the car instead of nearly missing him and the Simpsons have finally upgraded to a flat-panel television. More than likely installed by Homer, the frame rips out the wall and falls to the floor.

All in all, the sequence ran 2:01 minutes thanks to the couch gag, which consumed nearly fifty seconds to trot the globe before subduing the sofa in space. I hope this new sequence reinvigorates the Simpsons' writing staff and animators and we all may bask in another Golden Age.