The Hads and Have Nots

Is it odd that the more time I spend out of work, the more I struggle to entertain people with jobs? It feels like that's constantly hanging over my head; some else has a job, while I do not. I'm constantly reminded of my current professional status, when I check my balance, or sluice through the deals on Amazon, or even think about what to do this weekend. And I don't really need the extra punch in the face of 24-hour news coverage squawking about the downturn economy, and the ethics of a government bailout in a free economy, or the rising number of people on unemployment.

I don't want to be out of work, sitting around, searching for job postings, but with such little opportunity, I don't have much choice. However, let me get to the real reason I figured up the old blog. I recently received some mail; no, I did not get a job. In fact, they were rejection letters, from Massachusetts' health care and a job application. Let's count. I received 6 (SIX) letters from the MassHealth organization explaining, in awkward terms with letters, numbers, and extra punctuation, why I am ineligible for their services. Even though I'm unemployed and cannot join another plan for eight months, I'm ineligible? My world won't end; I don't visit doctors too often, any way, but it is required in Massachusetts. What really fries my tomatoes is the six (6) letters I received, all stating the same thing. Why six? One won't work? Each cost $.32 to send, contained four sheets of paper, required ink for printing, and (probably) several individuals to review and mail. Why waste more money on the five extra copies that don't help me anyway? Jerks. Send out one letter; yes or no. That's it.

Oh, and wait, I also received two letters from the same company, for the same position to tell me I didn't get the job. Do you get off sending out those letters, superior in the fact you have a job and I don't? I can read; I know what "all positions have been filled" means. Actually, you sending me the same format letter twice wouldn't help me understand the situation any better if I couldn't figure out rejection number one. Stop wasting your money and my time. One letter. Just one.

Some would say in difficult times like these, we can't see the forest for the trees, but in actuality, we can't the forest because we cut down all the trees to send out the same goddamn letter fourteen times to one person. Knock it off and show some restraint.

Should be More Than 50

I'm not very interested in politics; however, like any conscious skin-sack breathing on his own accord, I can name the governor, a few senators, and some of the major figures in the political world. It's hard to avoid, 24-hour new's cycles, yammering talking heads, sound-bytes of sound-bytes, investigative journalism that uncover the shit storm we've found ourselves in. At this point in history, it's impossible not to know the president if you're American; actually, I think it's treason. I hear saggy, old bankers and investors, watch auto leaders crap themselves, selling out their first born's first born for some government credit, and see bumbling icons six months past dead filibuster a bill because it offers $5,000 for stem-cell research on abandoned muskrats of the Tallaweega River Basin. Politics gets on my nerves but has found a place in the social content of modern life, and is inescapable. Like siege warfare, the Olberman and the Maddow have surrounded us, barking up the walls to drive us out. You can see, I don't have much patience for political reports, especially those that push an agenda.

However, I cam across this website. The 50 most loathsome people in American in 2008 have found a comprehensive catalog of offences, evidence, and the proper punishment. I really enjoyed #40, the Free Credit Report.com Guy, and #32, Ben Stein. Uthman and Murphy, with all of their contributors, have drawn together the greatest annoyances of the past year with a great deal of wit and cynicism, making me laugh, honestly laugh while I read it. I boosted two of my favorite cartoons.Up top, Joe Lieberman visually depicted during the Democratic circus to find and support the leader of a party too easily fragmented by a weak, central power. Lieberman is "the kind of suppressive asshole who would accuse you of helping terrorists by beating him at checkers should not be Chairman of the Committee on Homeland Security." And to my right, the respected governess of Alaska, Sarah Palin who "used her baby as a Pro-life stage prop before crowds who cooed when they should have been hurling polonium-tipped javelins." If news were always this funny, maybe more of us would pay attention.

Yip, it's a Recession

"Once I built a railroad, made it run, made it race against time. Once I built a railroad; now it's done. Brother, can you spare a dime?"

I've heard Bing Crosby and Monty Burns croon out the old Harburg dirge, studied its relation to the Great Depression, stared blindly at the tower of later verses. But, I never paid much attention to Al, thinking like too many of us, the world could never peel back to those gritty times. Breadlines I would never see, except in grainy black and whites, or desperation I would never experience except through the suspension of disbelief during Bagger Vance. (Remember that little kid's shame at having a garbage man father? I watch too much T.V.)

However, the economy worsens; stores drop like turds from a bird's ass, and we're left looking at the rubble. Will our railroad run again? Should we don our khaki suit and follow the drum? Slog through Hell, full of that yankee doodle dee dum? I don't know. There are smarter minds working on restoration projects I don't understand. All I can really hold onto is that Yip Harburg, lyricist of "Brother", also penned "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", the Great Depression's most wonderful, hopeful and escapist anthem.

"If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh why, can't I?"

Opportunity

I received a call this morning from a prospective employer and I'm anxious about the proposition. It's subbing, something that's like a last resort for me. I would be excited to earn some money, which is never a bad thing, unless you're peddling ass for it. However, I'm not looking forward to the frantic morning phone call and pursuant scramble to shower, dress, and eat before rushing out the door. Also, standing before a classroom of students as their substitute and not their teacher is threatening, perhaps I should see myself as their teacher, at least for that day. Anyway, I'm nervous about it, and wanted to express it.

Opening Statement

It has been 217 days, or seven months and three days, since I last arrived at a job. I haven't counted them on a calendar; I used the Calendar Calculator. It's a daunting figure, 38 weeks without reporting to a superior, without setting the alarm and driving in, without bitching about a boss or unfair policy change. Originally, it was an enjoyable break, one to which I had grown accustomed as a teacher. More recently, however, I've lost faith in my own ability to earn a living wage and run through a daily, internal lecture about change and determination.

Here's the history if you don't know already. I tried to type this into the blog's description, but it is too long and part appears in About Me. Sorry for the re-run:

I agreed to move to Portland, OR with my wife and left my job of three years in June, 2008. We drove from Massachusetts in August of the same year and spent several days exploring parts of the country we would not regularly see. The trip out was fantastic and you can recount the trip at my other blog.

Sadly, we had to move back in November due to a poor professional outlook. The trip back was more somber, more bitter, and more humbling. The entire adventure was a risk, one thing I generally shy away from, and did not work out. A moment of failure, but a failure worth more than many of my past successes.

However, the concern of returning home has been eclipsed by the stress of unemployment. I haven't worked since June and haven't cashed a paycheck since August. I'm concerned about finances. I'm concerned about job hunting, the economy, and supporting our new family.
I'm beginning this blog to document my time out of work, a time I do not enjoy. Surprisingly, I want a purpose in the morning, not just a seat on the couch. I want to accomplish something valuable, not to fill out a dozen job applications on Monster. I'll draw together my ups and downs, opportunities and interviews (as few and far between as they may be), and use this space to air my concerns and thoughts throughout this process shared by too many, it seems.

So there it is. Feel free to send me your wishes, your prayers, your job openings, and any lose change.